Football Diplomacy

America and China brought down the bamboo curtain with “ping pong” diplomacy. Mao Tse-tung and Richard Nixon initiated ping pong tournaments between America and China to thaw the Cold War diplomatic isolation between the two countries. The establishment of diplomatic relations has led to the mutual dependence of the two global giants on each other because of their tight economic embrace.

Football diplomacy can do the same for the Middle East. An Israeli team with Jews, Muslims and Christians, playing Shiite, Sunni and Kurdish Iraq, Lebanese, Egyptian and Jordanian Muslims and Christians playing Shiite Iran, Sunni Saudi Arabia and Sunni-Shiite Syria. The secular Gulf States and Turkey host and play in the playoffs.

The tunnels under the fortified borders of the Middle East, like the Sino-U.S. bamboo curtain, have to be kicked away during regional football tournaments and replaced with open peaceful borders to allow cross border commerce to grow and the region’s people to prosper.

Israeli Football

Two Arab Israeli citizens – there are 1.2 million of them comprising more than one-fifth of Israel’s population ─ are the stars of Israel’s national soccer team. Abbas Suan and Walid Badir are cheered by all Israelis during their international competitions – Muslim, Jewish and Christain. In Israel, as elsewhere, sports have been an equalizer. Israel’s integrated national squad “isn’t just a team” said Suan. “It’s a symbol.”

Israel’s unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza Strip in 2005 reaped a surprise benefit in the Muslim world: diplomatic recognition from Muslim countries from Tunisia to Indonesia. The diplomatic opportunities in Asia and North Africa are allowing Israel for the first time to interact with the Muslim world in the 21st century. The failure of Muslim nations to condemn Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s verbal attacks on Israel was disappointing, but understandable ─ any wonder Iran and Iraq are boosting their economic and military ties?

What’s ironic is that the five-meter wide anti-Israel and anti-Zionist banners in Iran, a physical reflection of Ahmadinejad’s declaration that the Jewish state should be “wiped off the map,” were created with technology made in Israel.

Ahmadinejad’s predecessor, Mohammad Khatami, was seated close to Israeli President Moshe Katsav at the funeral of Pope John Paul II in April 2005 and the two shook hands and chatted briefly. Katzav was born in the Iranian city of Yazd, which is Khatami’s hometown. Khatami had proposed a dialogue among civilizations and pursued a policy of détente ─ a path Iran will again embark on once the current mullahocracy is replaced with true democracy. Khatami has expressed an interest in visiting Israel.

Lions of Mesopotamia

The Shiite, Sunni and Kurdish Iraqi soccer team, crowned the 2007 Asian Cup champions, for the first time, with their shocking 1-0 win over Saudi Arabia ─ seven time finalists in the last eight years, and three-time winners of the tournament, was not only a surprising upset in the sport, but a signal that if people of different cultures, religions and races are determined to work together for a common goal, they can prevail, against all odds.

The driven Iraqis showed great resolve and immense inner strength throughout the tournament, crushing Australia 3-1 and beating South Korea on penalties. The Iraqis were determined to win the final after a mother had dedicated her 12-year-old son, one of more than 50 people slain in a car bomb attack in Baghdad while celebrating Iraq’s semi-final win over South Korea ─ as a sacrifice to the Iraqi national team.

Iraqi skipper Younis Mahmoud’s thumping headed goal in the fiercely contested all-Arab final in Indonesia was his fourth goal to finish joint-leading scorer in the tournament with Saudi Arabia’s Yasser Al Qahtani and Japan’s Naohiro Takahara. Younis is a Sunni Turkman. Teammate Houar Mullah Mohammad, who put the ball in position for the score, is a Kurdish Shiite. Goalkeeper Noar Sabri is an Arab Shiite.

The team could not go home to parade the Asian Cup in Baghdad out of fear for their lives and that of their fans. The victorious lions celebrated their win in Dubai and Amman, Jordan. Younis Mahmoud and other teammates did not go to Iraq with the cup out of fear for their lives.

The Iraqis do and will continue to turn on each other. Many members of the football team have lost loved ones in the ongoing sectarian violence. The team is tight and determined. Determined to show the world that they can beat anyone, including America. They are united as a team to first get rid of America and other foreigners, before they get down to business with each other.

Iraqi footballers, unlike their Saudi counterparts who only play in the kingdom, are highly prized and play for foreign teams throughout the Middle East and Africa. If no country wants Saudi footballers, why does America continue to play in the Arabian Desert and embrace the Saudi political leadership?

Replace Madrassas With Comedy Schools

The festering isolation of Hamas in Gaza while it builds up its arsenal to destroy Israel, leaves Israel no choice but to work with Fatah to create a Palestinian state on the West Bank. Under the circumstances, Israel’s unilateral decision to draw permanent borders to separate itself from Hamas is understandable, but unworkable.

The Muslim stand-up comedian Goffaq Yussef summarized the relationship between Israel and its Arab neighbors best: “Good evening, gentlemen, and get out ladies.

“On my flight to New York there must have been an Israeli in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said ‘occupied’.”

“What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!!

“How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

“Did you hear about the Broadway play, ‘The Palestinians’? It bombed!

“What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!

“Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!

“Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because it’s just a stone’s throw from Israel!

“Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!

“A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. ‘Honest, I’m not a suicide bomber,’ he said. ‘I didn’t say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I am dying to get laid!”

“What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? ‘Live Ammunition.’ “Heard of a Palestinian girl saying to her mommy: ‘After Abdul blows himself up can I have his room?

“Thank you, thank yo!!! My name is Goffaq Yussef. (say it out loud…).

Comedy, satire and comic books do make it easier for people to learn and understand how ridiculous some religious beliefs and practices are. The Saudi satirical series Tash Ma Tash, a Ramadan staple for 14 years, in 2006 angered Saudi and Egyptian viewers because the lead female star did not wear a veil. To make matters worse, one episode set in Saudi Arabia had “the guardians of virtue” ponder how best to ensure that women riding donkeys should be kept protected from mingling with men on the roads. One guardian proposes digging tunnels for women only, while another suggests that females should sit in closed wooden boxes atop their animals and navigate their way using periscopes. Eventually a wall is built dividing the village into a section for men and another for women.

“The 99” is the first comic-book series to feature Islamic superheroes in the hope they can defeat prejudice. The comic is published in Arabic and English and tells the story of 99 heroes scattered around the world, each of whom holds one of the 99 attributes Muslims assign to Allah. The problem with the bad guys, who are also Muslim, is not their faith but how they use it.